Thanks so much for coming by to check out Episode 55 of The New Family Podcast where we chat about what it takes to bring up romantically competent kids.
This episode tackles quite an interesting question. Should we be raising kids to be romantically competent? And what does that mean? My guests on the show today are Kaycee Lashman and Dr. Joanne Davila, authors of The Thinking Girl’s Guide to the Right Guy: How Knowing Yourself Can Help You Navigate Dating, Hookups and Love. Their advice on knowing what makes a healthy relationship, on knowing what you need from a relationship really applies to anyone. And for parents bringing kids up in world where the dating landscape—or at least the vocabulary around dating—may have changed significantly from when we were young, it can be a little hard to know how to encourage our children to form healthy attachments. Joanne and Kaycee identify the skills that make up romantic competence and explain how to encourage our children to develop them.
Here are some great resources related to my discussion with Kaycee and Joanne.
What Joanne Wishes All Parents Could Know:
“I’d like parents to know that they’re going to go through a long difficult time with their teenage children when that child is not going to act as if they like their mom and dad, and often treat they’re parents kind of poorly. But if parents can stick with that, if they can be strong and respect their child and not pull away and not get angry and blaming and just be their for their child, their kid is going to come around. That child will come back around again and will be willing and able to show you love again. And you sticking with them through that hard time—and teaching them skills and being skillful yourself—will eventually pay off.”
Kaycee’s Favourite Parenting Advice:
“For me it was when I read Joanne’s research on romantic competence because until I read that I actually had no way of really practising what makes for a healthy relationship with my own daughter. For example, a sign of a healthy relationship is when someone else is responding to your needs. That’s a core part of mutuality and how you build intimacy in a relationship. So when my daughter and I were having conversations, I stopped getting defensive, or blaming, or just not getting what she was saying and I really tried to listen to understand her. And then I tried to show her that I was being responsive to what she needed.”
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This episode is brought to you by Wise Bites, makers of healthy, allergy-safe snacks that are great for the whole family and perfect to send to school. To get free shipping on a case, go to wise-bites.com and use promo code THENEWFAMILY at checkout!.
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