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Thanks so much for coming by to check out Episode 87 of The New Family Podcast where we talk about how learning to self-regulate can help kids deal with stress.
We’re delighted to welcome Dr. Stuart Shanker to the show today. A world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Shanker is a professor at York University and an expert in child development. His new book Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break The Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life came out recently. His previous book, Calm, Alert and Learning, written for teachers, is one of the top-selling Canadian education books of all time. But in this book he turns his attention to parents with an aim to helping us learn how to recognize when our kids are under stress and teach them to deal with it effectively. The key? Encouraging our children to develop the ability to self-regulate. Yes, self-regulation has become a bit of a buzzword in recent years. Today we get to the heart of what it really means.
Here are some great resources related to my discussion with Dr. Shanker.
Dr. Shanker’s earlier book Calm, Alert and Learning: Classroom Strategies for Self-Regulation
Related Episode: The Gift of Failure
Dr. Shanker’s Favourite Parenting Advice
“I was trained in psychiatry by Dr. Sandy Greenspan. I had young children at the time and I’d screwed up—I can’t remember how. But Sandy said to me, ‘You know, you’ve got to be really kind to yourself.’ For me that was a sort of magic moment because we are going to have those moments where our limbic arousal is too high or we’ve got too much to do and we beat ourselves up. But What I’ve learned as a dad and not as a psychologist is that when I screw up I be kind to myself, to accept that I’m human, but also that I tell my kids I’m sorry. And you know what? They always forgive me.”
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