Thanks so much for coming by to check out Episode 99 of The New Family Podcast where we hear about a great initiative called The Kick-Ass Step-Mom Project.
When my guest, Jamie Scrimgeour, first became a step-mom to three kids, there were times when she’d hide crying in the bathroom with a glass of wine. But today she uses the lessons from those challenging times to help others be great step-moms. Jamie is a Life Coach with a Certification in Stepfamily Dynamics. She talks candidly about her stepfamily life on her blog, The Poptart Diaries, and helps provides online support through her group coaching program The Kick-Ass Step-mom Project and her online Facebook group The Kick-Ass Stepmom Community. She shares the key principles behind great step-parenting as well as the common stumbling blocks step-parents face along the way.
Here are some great resources related to my discussion with Jamie.
Jamie’s Best Advice for New Step-Parents
“Go get yourself a case of wine. No, I’m just kidding. My advice is that empathy is the key to success. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes really is the way to go about being successful in this role. Think about what it’s like to be your husband’s ex-wife. A lot of the time we’re dealing with issues of how they’re reacting to certain things or problems with the kids. What do you think the ex-wife is experiencing? What do you think is motivating her behaviour? How would she be experiencing things from her point of view? Put yourself in her shoes. Put yourself in your step-children’s shoes. What do you think it’s like for this new woman to come into their lives, right? Put yourself even in your husband’s shoes. He has to deal with the ex-wife, he has to deal with me. He’s trying to make all of us happy, right? Being out to empathize with other people’s situations I think really helps navigate the best way for you to act and react.”
Jamie’s Favourite Parenting Advice
“You’re the expert on your own family. You just need to do what works best for you, what feels right for you and not worry about what everyone else has to say. Because there’s a lot of people chiming in your ear about how you should be running your family. And also, perfection is not attainable. I really tried to have that perfect family and be a perfect step-mom at the beginning and pretend like I had it all together. But at the end of the day, none of us have it all together, right? We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.”
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