Podcast Episode 168: What NOT to Say When Someone Comes Out

Thanks so much for coming by to check out Episode 168 of The New Family Podcast where we talk about how to be more supportive to people who are in the process of coming out.

I’m so delighted to have my friend and colleague Rick Clemons back on the show this episode. He was first with us way back on Episode 91 for an episode about his process of coming out later in life. Rick a father of two and the author of a book called Frankly My Dear, I’m Gay: A Late-bloomers Guide to Coming Out. He’s also the host of a great podcast called The Coming Out Lounge and he’s a life coach.

One of Rick’s specialties is helping people through their coming out journeys. Today Rick is back to help us learn how best to support friends and family members as they come out. We’re going to talk about what to say, what not to say, and what people really need from us when they’re revealing this important information about themselves.

Here are some resources related to this episode.

Frankly My Dear, I'm Gay

Rick’s book Frankly My Dear, I’m Gay: A Late-Bloomer’s Guide to Coming Out

Earlier Episode featuring Rick: Frankly My Dear, I’m Gay

Rick’s website

Rick’s Podcast, Life Uncloseted

Rick’s blog

Rick’s coaching services

Related Episode: When Your Child Comes Out to You

Related Episode: When Your Spouse Comes Out As Transgender

Related Episode: Parenting a Transgender Child

unsplash-logoFelix Russell-Saw

Rick’s Best Piece of Communication Advice

“One of my favorite non-combative, communication pieces is to say ‘you said this, and it made me feel this way and I’m wondering if that is what you intended me to feel.’ You can do that in reverse as ‘I said this, I feel like it might have made you feel and I really want you to understand this is what I really meant by it.’ But what that takes, again is, stepping into the arena and really being vulnerable to admit that ‘I think I may have said something that made you feel uncomfortable’ (or) ‘this wasn’t what I was intending to say, this is what I really meant by it’ but that’s like standing naked in Times Square sometimes to do that stuff with people. Because it’s like ‘oh my god, what if they reject me?’ so being willing to open yourself and be vulnerable I think is the best way to approach this things.”

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Brandie Weikle

About Brandie Weikle

Brandie is a long-time parenting editor, writer and spokesperson. Most recently editor-in-chief of Canadian Family magazine, Brandie has also been the parenting and relationships editor for the Toronto Star, founding editor of two Toronto Star websites, and an editor for Today's Parent. Brandie is a single mother of two in Toronto and a frequent television and radio guest on parenting topics. A former digital director at House & Home Media, she also consults on digital audience engagement. Contact her here. View all posts by


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