Thanks so much for coming by to check out Episode 171 of The New Family Podcast where we talk about what it takes to have a healthy sex life after kids, and how to reconnect romantically when a busy family life has put a strain on your relationship.
My guest for this episode is one of the most popular we’ve ever hosted on the show. Sexuality expert Amy Lang, helps parents talk to their kids about sex, love and relationships. She first joined us on to tell us how to talk to our kids about where babies comes from. Amy has a great website called Birds and Bees and Kids, and I invited her back to answer a question that crosses a lot of people’s minds: Is there sex after kids?
She and I take a look at what’s involved in having a sex life through some of the different seasons of our own lives, including rough patches in our relationships, times of overwhelm between work and home and also through single parenthood. Amy shares some pragmatic advice for making space for intimacy in a busy family life and for reconnecting romantically after a period of disconnection or when one of you has perhaps turned to online pornography websites like m-porn.xxx instead of turning to one another for comfort and pleasure.
Here are some resources related to this episode.
Amy’s Advice to parents looking to reconnect with their partners:
“(Take) baby steps. Go take a look at the Gottman Institute, sign up for their newsletter and take a baby step towards intimacy and that might really, honestly be a 15 second hug. That might be it — start small. And if you’re having bigger problems, go see a therapist and have a little tune up together. There’s no shame in it. Marriage is a long journey in some cases and sometimes you are drinking margaritas on the beach and watching the sunset, sometimes you’re throwing up and having diarrhea at the same time. Trying to get back to that in-between space with some margaritas occasionally, you can’t avoid the hard part but if you can maintain that connection to your partner as a human being, as a person that you fell in love in the first place… If you can remember that, that’s one of the things that gets me through the tough times.”
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