Thanks so much for coming by to check out Episode 211 of The New Family Podcast, where we talk to a family therapist about what it takes for both parents to share the emotional labour of raising kids.
Women talk a lot about emotional labour — carrying the mental load of things that need to be arranged for their families and the weight of worry about how everyone’s needs are being met. We’re joined today by marriage and family therapist Jeremy Schneider for a conversation on what it takes to be an emotionally available dad and a partner who shares that emotional labour. Jeremy has written about parenting topics for a number of publications around the world and now in his book Fatherhood in 40-Minutes Snapshots. This is an insightful chat about the complex business of sharing the work of raising kids, the shifting expectations and perceptions of and about dads, and the beauty and opportunity that lies in forging meaningful connection between father and child.
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What Jeremy most wishes every new dad could know
“We, dads, make a difference. We are not just the second parent. We are parents who are actually instrumental in the mental health, the education, the life satisfaction of their kids. Dads who are more involved have children who have better experiences of those things. And the list goes on. The other thing that I would also emphasize is just try. I think men particularly come from ‘we should know the right way to something’ or ‘there is a right way to do something and I should do that’ and I think no – that’s not the way parenting works. Parenting is so much about trial and error. If you could count the number of mistakes that I made or the things that I tried that didn’t work — it would fill up a football field. But when I hit on the things that worked, that was incredible.”
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Photo by Chris Benson.